A book that has really blessed me recently is Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. Isn't it a fitting title for almost all of life? Dillow challenged me in the first pages when she encouraged readers to: 1. Never allow yourself to complain about anything-- not even the weather, 2. Never picture yourself in any other circumstance or someplace else, 3. Never compare your lot with anothers, 4. Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise, 5. Never dwell on tomorrow--- remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.
Those rules were difficult and still are. Even today I was rebuked by my little sister about my negativity and complaining habits. When I do follow these secrets of contentment though, it is well rewarded. Life is so peaceful and joyful when one is content and trusting in their savior.
One passage that held special meaning to me was titled Teacup Theology.
God has lovingly assigned each of us to be a uniquely special teacup. Perhaps we're an antique cup, painted with dainty roses set in gold. Maybe we see ourselves as an everyday cup- useful, but a little chipped around the edges. Or we could be a heavy-duty mug-- rugged, unbreakable, and able to hold much.
Then God fills our cup with our portion, what He determines best. Our portion is our physical and emotional being, our abilities, circumstances, roles, and relationships.
Sometimes we don't like what's been poured into our cup. Remember the Lord Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane? When He saw the suffering He was about to endure, He pleaded, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done" (Luke 22:42). Christ grabbed the handle of His cup and lifted it to God and said, "I accept my portion. Infuse me with Your strength that I may drink."
Every cup-- whether dainty china or rough-hewn pottery-- has a handle. God has placed our portion in our cup. We either choose to grasp it by the handle and lift it to Him, saying, "I accept my portion; I accept this cup," or we choose to smash our cup to pieces, saying, "God, I refuse my portion. This cup is not the right size for me and I don't like what you've put in it. I'll control my own life myself."
For me, it is humbling to realize that in the garden, Jesus did ask the Father for a way out. When I look back on all the situations that I asked the Father for a way out, they are trivial and so utterly small in comparison. I am so thankful that Jesus was faithful to do His Father's will. When I slow down and take time to realize the sacrifice Jesus made for me, I know why I can give my life to serve Him.
I imagine my cup to be a rather plain, everyday cup, with a few flowers here and there. And I love to think that my portion from the Lord is my very own to love, grow, and trust God with. Daily I need to remember not to compare my cup with others, or to wish my cup were this or that, or filled with someone's else portion. But I know that even now, there are some things in my cup that I don't really want.
We had Frey Christmas yesterday and it was very fun. Adam, Bonnie, and Megan made it back from Colorado and Heather was back from Hawaii. We had a progressive party that started at Aunt Joanna's and Uncle David's house and ended at MeeMaw and Pawpaw's house. Everybody received a gift from Grandma and Grandpa that night in the form a book title: Love Story and Life of Jack and Shirley Frey. Meemaw had been working on the book for several years and was able to finish it in time for Christmas with the help of Aunt Chris. In the back of the book Meemaw wrote: I asked the Lord how much He loved me. He said "this much," stretched out his arms and died for me.
I'm so glad He grabbed the handle.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Beginnings Come In All Shapes And Sizes
Today I received tremendous news from a place very far away from home. I have accepted an offer to become a teacher at the International Christian School of Budapest. One of the key ways I learned about Budapest, ICSB, and the nature of their culture and teachers, was through missionary blogs. So this is the beginning of my journey to Budapest.
I have always seen myself living on the other side of the "lake". Growing up I used to tell my mother that if I were single and free after college, then pack my bags I would, and take off for ministry in some far away place. I never had a calling to a specific country like some people do. I've heard of some missionaries being called at the age of 16 or 17 to some specific country. Thats not how it has been for me. I have the desire and the willingness to go. Where to? Where ever He leads me.
It all began when I sat down at my computer while teaching at Mumford High School and began searching for teaching jobs in Texas. Naturally that took a turn for searching the entire United States in places such as Boston and Colorado. For several days I searched and wrote down countless school names and districts to pray over and talk about with my family. Then I stumbled upon a little site called MissionTeach and filled out a profile just to see what the outcome would be. MissionTeach is a site that connects teachers to different international Christian schools based upon their vacancies. I was immediately drawn to a vacancy at Bingham Academy in Ethiopia. I had been there before while visiting family who are missionaries with SIM. My cousins attended the school and I had always thought it would be a neat place to teach. Unfortunately after some emails, I learned that the position was not vacant and so I stopped searching for a while.
Then I received an e-mail through the MissionTeach website from a recruiter at ICSB. When I saw that the vacancy was in Hungary I chuckled and told myself I was not going to teach there, but I decided to check out the website just to see what it was like. And I was amazed at the students, the teachers, and the city of Budapest. I asked for more and more information which led me down a trail of prayer, and ultimately, faxing an application a week before I graduated from UMHB.
This very morning I received an e-mail from the school director offering me the opportunity to teach this next school year in the fall.
I was elated and so very thankful. God has been teaching me to wait. He has been teaching me to depend on him. He knows the desires of my heart and how to best take care of me. He has called my name and I will go. What a gift God has given me!
I have always seen myself living on the other side of the "lake". Growing up I used to tell my mother that if I were single and free after college, then pack my bags I would, and take off for ministry in some far away place. I never had a calling to a specific country like some people do. I've heard of some missionaries being called at the age of 16 or 17 to some specific country. Thats not how it has been for me. I have the desire and the willingness to go. Where to? Where ever He leads me.
It all began when I sat down at my computer while teaching at Mumford High School and began searching for teaching jobs in Texas. Naturally that took a turn for searching the entire United States in places such as Boston and Colorado. For several days I searched and wrote down countless school names and districts to pray over and talk about with my family. Then I stumbled upon a little site called MissionTeach and filled out a profile just to see what the outcome would be. MissionTeach is a site that connects teachers to different international Christian schools based upon their vacancies. I was immediately drawn to a vacancy at Bingham Academy in Ethiopia. I had been there before while visiting family who are missionaries with SIM. My cousins attended the school and I had always thought it would be a neat place to teach. Unfortunately after some emails, I learned that the position was not vacant and so I stopped searching for a while.
Then I received an e-mail through the MissionTeach website from a recruiter at ICSB. When I saw that the vacancy was in Hungary I chuckled and told myself I was not going to teach there, but I decided to check out the website just to see what it was like. And I was amazed at the students, the teachers, and the city of Budapest. I asked for more and more information which led me down a trail of prayer, and ultimately, faxing an application a week before I graduated from UMHB.
This very morning I received an e-mail from the school director offering me the opportunity to teach this next school year in the fall.
I was elated and so very thankful. God has been teaching me to wait. He has been teaching me to depend on him. He knows the desires of my heart and how to best take care of me. He has called my name and I will go. What a gift God has given me!
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